Doppelgängland

Written By: Joss Whedon

Act 1 Part 1

INT. SNYDER'S OFFICE - DAY Snyder sits before Willow and the slack and hulking PERCY, jock extraordinaire.

SNYDER
As far as I'm concerned, this is a
marriage made in heaven. Willow
Rosenberg, despite her unsavory
associations, represents the pinnacle
of academic achievement at Sunnydale
high. Percy West represents a
devastating fast break and fifty
percent from behind the three point line.

WILLOW
I'm not sure I understand the
marriage part.

SNYDER
You've got the brains, he's got the
fast break. It's a perfect match.

WILLOW
(nervously glancing at Percy)
Match? You want us to breed?

SNYDER
I want you to tutor him. Percy is
flunking history. Nothing seems to
be able to motivate him.

PERCY
Hey, I'm challenged.

SNYDER
You're lazy, self involved and
spoiled. That's quite the challenge.
But we need a winning year,
especially after last year's debacle
with the swim team. Can't have our
point guard benched.
(to Willow)
So you are going to take on a little
teaching job. I know how you enjoy teaching.

WILLOW
But I have a lot of work of my own --

SNYDER
You've gotten a letter of acceptance
from every university with a stamp.
I think your academic career is safe.

WILLOW
Yes, but I still have classes
and I don't want --

SNYDER
Rosenberg. It's time to give
something back to the community.
I know you want to help your
school out here. Ask me how I know.

WILLOW
How do y--

SNYDER
I just know.

The threat is really only in his eyes. Willow looks at him, and at Percy. Percy just looks bored.

INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Willow enters with Buffy.

BUFFY
So he threatened you? With what?

WILLOW
It wasn't anything exactly that he
said. It was all in his eyes. I
mean, there was some nostril work
as well, but mostly eyes.

BUFFY
Snyder needs me to kick his ass.

WILLOW
Oh, no, Buffy, don't get yourself in
trouble. I'll be okay. I just hate
the way he bullies people. He just
assumes their time is his.

GILES
(entering from his office)
Willow, get on the computer. I want
you to take another pass at accessing
the Mayor's files.

WILLOW
Okay.

Faith enters with a winded Wesley.

FAITH
Well, that was a blast.

GILES
How did it go?

FAITH
Princess Margaret here had a little
trouble keeping up.

GILES
(to Wesley)
How did it go?

WESLEY
Faith... did quite well on the
obstacle field. And her... reflexes
are improving rapidly. Physically...
(pointedly emphasized)
she's in good shape. Still a little
sloppy, though.

He hands Giles a clipboard of times.

GILES
Do you feel up to taking Buffy out,
or shall I?

WESLEY
No, I'll be fine. I just need a
minute. And some defibulators, if
it's not too much trouble.

BUFFY
I better change.

FAITH
You're gonna love it, B. It's just
like fun, only boring.

GILES
Faith, The evaluations are a
necessary part of --

FAITH
(contrite)
Hey. I know. I'm on board here.
Just shooting my mouth off.

As Buffy passes to go out, she and Faith lock eyes. Faith says quietly and sincerely:

FAITH
Good luck.

Touches Buffy's arm as she passes. Buffy smiles kindly at her, exiting. Faith wanders over to Willow as Giles and Wesley retreat into the office. Willow is not wildly comfy around Faith, but acts with strained politeness.

FAITH
Whatchya doing?

WILLOW
I'm trying to access the Mayor's
personal files.

FAITH
Can you do that?

WILLOW
He's got some pretty tricky
barriers set up.

FAITH
Can you get past 'em?

WILLOW
Eventually. I'll get through.

INT. FAITH'S NEW APARTMENT - DAY The Mayor stands before us, taking in the news.

MAYOR
Well, that's very interesting.

Faith is looking around, blown away by the place.

FAITH
Yeah, I thought so too. Are you
serious about this place?

MAYOR
Of course I am! No Slayer of mine is
going to live in a fleabag hotel.
That place has a very unsavory
reputation. There are immoral
liaisons going on there.

FAITH
Plus all the screwing.
But this is the kick!

MAYOR
We'll keep your old place, in case
you need to see your friends there.
But from now on --

Faith has run to the bed, is jumping up and down on it.

MAYOR
Shoes! Shoes!

She jumps off, landing in front of him.

FAITH
Thanks, sugardaddy.

MAYOR
Oh! Faith. I don't find that sort
of thing amusing. I'm a family man.
Now. Let's kill your little friend.

Faith looks a little hesitant at this.

MAYOR
Oh, don't worry. I wouldn't ask you,
not this early in our relationship.
I think a vampire attack would look
less suspicious anyway.

Faith nods, still not saying anything.

MAYOR
In the meantime, let's take a look at
the rest of the place. If I'm not
mistaken, some lucky girl has herself
a playstation.

FAITH
No way!

MAYOR
Yes way.

He leads her towards the other room.

OMITTED

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